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How to Overcome Frustration With Yourself 101

November 15, 2018

We all have different levels of “frustration” directed to ourselves or others. I am not sure about you but for me, the hardest kind of frustration to overcome is when I am frustrated about something and I realized I am frustrated with what I did, I can’t easily forgive myself about it so I end up getting a little bit frustrated with myself.

It’s not healthy.

Being overly frustrated could eat up your self-confidence and extract that fire in your heart. Instead of doing something better, you will end up wallowing over something that you shouldn’t really dig up too much. If you did something that you are not supposed to be doing, correct yourself. If you cannot really do anything about it but you know you did something wrong, acknowledge it. Be sorry when you feel sorry and be sure to learn your lesson. Do better next time. You do not have to blame yourself. Instead of focusing on the problem and “what could have been if…”, focus on the NOW and what you can do about it. This is the most important point.

How do you start?

  1. Go to a spot, a part of your office or home where you feel you are “left alone”.
  2. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
  3. Hands on your lap.
  4. Be mindful of your breathing.
  5. Let your thoughts flow but be mindful of your breathing.
  6. Hear a sound? Do not judge. Just, be mindful. Make yourself hear it.
  7. Be here, right now.
  8. If you find hard to follow step 1 to 7, count slowly up to a hundred.
  9. Think of 10 things you are thankful for TODAY.
  10. Elaborate and tell yourself why you are thankful for these things.

Now, you realize that there are a lot of essential things in you, in your life to be thankful for. You can now think clearly, “What should I do now to improve my situation?”. I do not have to be frustrated. There are a lot of beautiful things happening around me. What can I do to make things better?

If you think your frustration is something that could be filled in to make you feel happy or fulfilled, do it.
Don’t do it all together. Do it one after another.

The steps I gave above is what others called the gratitude technique. It helps when you also appreciate and shift your focus on the good things, recognize the bad things and yet, finding your way to focusing on the good and finding ways on how to make the not-so-good things better.


If you cannot do it because your emotions are taking over too much, talk it out. Pick your most trusted friend or family member and talk it out. And, if you are the type of person who prefers to “take it all in”, you can still have a conversation with someone dear to you and present the situation “hypothetically”. Like saying, “Hey, I know someone who happens to… I think… what do you think?”

I encourage you to communicate and be direct as you can. We cannot own all the wisdom in the world and we cannot make all the kinds of mistakes for us to be experienced in everything in life. Other people may have great insights that you never have thought about. Sometimes, it is the emotional factor that makes us look inside the box. So, practice to detach emotionally, seek the right people to talk with, and relax.

Do not ignore what you feel. When you are frustrated, okay, you are frustrated. Your first mission is to find exactly what you are frustrated about. Follow the steps above.

Hope this article helps. It’s okay to feel this way. You are also human. Just don’t be hard on yourself, okay?

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